Snowballs

I'm fighting sleep. I'm tired but I feel like a child, resisting going to bed.

I don't want to go to church in the morning and I have no idea why.

I had a dream last night that it was snowing and I had to go to the bathroom. Luckily there was a toilet. So, naturally, I dropped my pants and peed in public. The boy I liked ran up and threw a snowball at me. I laughed in my dream. I laughed when I retold the dream...but the more I think about it the more I think of how true it is.

I keep getting snowballs thrown at me.

Will it ever stop?

Project 31: Day 9 The Office

My job has its ups and downs but one of the ups is for sure my co-workers. I laugh multiple times every single day. Today one of the people who work in my office decided to leave his tie on the door to make sure to let people know he was not to be interrupted...you know...like back in his frat days. 

Just another reminder, if you follow this blog, please follow my new blog.

New Blog!!

Hey guys! I thought about going public but decided this blog is going to be put back to private. Follow me at my new public blog!!!

ilivedeliberately.blogspot.com


Same great Mandi, more happy posts!! :D

What am I thinking?!?! [dreaming?]

I dream very vividly almost every night. I often remember them well into the next day btu after I go to sleep I forget about it. I think we all remember my David Archuleta dreams that came to fruition just a few short months later. This next dream I am going to tell you about won't be happening anytime soon; mostly because it took place in Old Testament times. Sunday we talked about Isaac and Rebekah and arranged marriages. We talked about all the wonderful qualities Rebekah had as well. 

Welp, fast forward to Sunday night and I'm dreaming about how wonderful life could potentially have been if I lived in the time of Rebekah and Isaac. Next thing you know, I'm there. All the sudden I am completely stressing out that my husband will be displeased he ended up with me because I am not as charitable as Rebekah and not as feminine as her. (feminine? That's my own take on it. I am much more liberal than Rebekah and I guess I equate submissive to feminine.) Anyway.... I woke up around 4am in a complete stress. That's the second time this week I've been stressed about my dreams so much it has woken me up. 

Before I went to bed I was reading in Daniel 6 and contemplating the statements there. The presidents and princes couldn't find a single fault against Daniel. Not one! How awesome would it be to be so righteous that someone would have to forbid me to pray to find a "fault" in me. Don't get me wrong... I'm not envious he was thrown in a lion's den... but I think he was a pretty awesome example. 

My first year of seminary we covered the old testament. I remember sister aldous declaring that there was more drugs, sex, war, and rock and roll in this book that most people realized. It's true. They are great stories, but more than that it is a great teaching and learning tool. One that testifies of Christ and a Heavenly Father and supreme creator. Don't get me wrong, I love the Book of Mormon and think it is completely necessary, but the Old Testament pretty much rocks, even if it has incredibly horrendous grammar. 

Random Thoughts

I hung out with Raquel last night. We made homemade salsa, put in a movie, and I was asleep shortly after. The next thing I know it is 4am. I drove home and as I was falling asleep in my bed I could only think in some sort of asian language. I was speaking pretty fast [in my head- not audibly] and the funny thing is I have NO IDEA what I was saying. It was almost like two different parts of my brain. I remember vividly thinking " I wonder what I am saying- if anything. It sounds like jibberish (that was thought in English)" while I was thinking in another language ( I'm guessing it was Japanese though there were a FEW Chinese phrases...it sounded more like Japanese) ODD...right?

Also, I can't seem to stop listening to Sufjan Stevens in the past 24 hours. I love him.

Apricot Girls

Because if I don't upload now, it won't get done until a year from now.

My roommates (L-R Annie, Me, Jon (not a roommate though he does receive mail at our house), and Laura) dressed up as Bachelorettes for Jon's character themed birthday party. Do you like his outfit? He is Flash Gordon. LOL.

I had so many great posts planned in my head

And the moment I go to write them down they are gone! I don't know which is better, to only write when I have an eloquent thought or great story or to write all the time with the mundane facts of life. I think mundane is much more interesting. 

Paradox huh?

So, I borrowed a few books from my co-worker Zac to study for the CFA exam. He inter-officed them to me (he works for my company but out of our Portland, OR office) and I got them today. I was going to sit for it in June until I realized how costly it is. I'm procrastinating the day of my examination until December. If I am going to pay $1500 for a test, I better pass it!!! So, will someone remind me once in a while that even though I am not in school I need to study? I WILL have my CFA designation in 3 years.... (the power of positive thinking right?!?!) Even though some of the smartest men I know never did make it past level II. (Zac was one of them). After three years they give up. There are three levels and you can only take one test once a year.... ugh.... I NEED to do this. Piece of cake... I'm brilliant....right?

My friend Rachel just submitted her 40 page application to sit for the bar. This should be a walk in the park compared to that....right?!?!? Or...maybe it's worse because I haven't had three years of preparation for this test! Ag!! 

And While We are Talking About Babies....

Isn't my nephew Carson so sweet?

His tummy looks much bigger than it actually is, but he is a tiny tiny little thing...He is 2 and wears 12 months clothes. He loves any sort of ball, and always has a smile on his face. I absolutely adore him.

Matthew Jay

I got to see Matthew Jay and his B-UUUUUU-TIFUL family  a few weeks ago when he was passing through town. 

His daughter Adolina was one well behaved happy little girl that calmed down to the Joseph smith soundtrack on her mom's phone.... crazy.

Baby Henry

Well now that Henry is almost officially a month old I don't feel bad posting pictures. I wanted to give his parents plenty of bragging time before I posted pictures or talked about him.

There he is inside of his mother, just waiting to come out.


Most of you should know who McKensie is, and if you don't know her name... you obviously haven't been reading my blog or have ever talked to me on a semi frequent basis. She gave birth to her first born on Sunday January 31st. I was thrilled as Baby Henry is the closest thing I have to a nephew here in Salt Lake.

Wait. Rewind... I was thrilled because baby Henry is first nephew here in Utah now!

See those lashes?!?! He's already a heart breaker!

My Roommate Laura

So, one of my most favorite roommates I've ever had was a college roommate Laura W. She introduced me to scrubs, pistacio pudding, Sandy, UT, and many other things; like the fact incest is the new threesome (joking). Laura is one of my most favorite people ever.

Well, some of you may know that I have moved AGAIN, for the third time in 6 months. With a new place comes new roommates. It has only been a week but I adore these girls so much already. Annie, because she is soooooo much like myself (is that vain? I don't care...she's awesome) and another roommate by the name of Laura. (which she actually blogs about, and phew, I'm glad I have a preference of calling people Lah-ra and not Lor-a)

Well, I've been blog stalking Laura and I feel weird because I am in the same house as her, listening to her talk in the other room, and reading her blog at the same time. I would like to share with you some of my favorite posts. She is so incredibly witty and an amazing writing. If only I could articulate my witty thoughts the way she has in these posts. Please read them, and enjoy.

A phone conversation she had with her grandmother

And

a post about her beamer

and FRIENDING Old Testament characters on Facebook!!!

among the many that made me laugh out loud.

I have a feeling I am really going to like it here.

Ol' Blue

So remember this love note that I wrote to Ol Blue a while back?

It's so hard to believe... but she has gone away to another good owner now.

When I bought Fancy Nancy (the car, not the books) back in July I just couldn't bear to part with Ol Blue so there she sat for 8 months while I drove Nancy around. I would wave at her on occasion and say hello. It was only after my 3rd move in 6 months that I started to wonder where I was going to continue to store her. There just was no room. I finally decided that she deserved to be loved and driven on a daily basis, so I cleaned her up and onto KSL she was listed. Many people ooohed and awwwwed over her but it was the father of a 26 year old girl much like myself that finally won her love, and mine. I allowed him to purchase her from me.

I nearly cried when I signed that title over.

Ol' Blue has been with me through thick and thin and she has seen it all. She was there when I was in high school, she met all the boys I dated. She sat there quietly and listened when I pulled off the side of the road and cried a few times over the heartbreak and frustrations of the day. When I was departing on my adventure from Houston to Salt Lake City, she was there...every mile, holding my life possesions in her trunk. She heard my shouts of excitement when I drove past the Rice Eccles stadium with the banner displaying "home of the utes" for the first time. She never left my side when I was lost and frustrated. She was always, always there. The one constant in my life.

I know many of you may think she was just a car....but really for a long time she was all I had. My life was lived in her. That car holds so many memories and so many wonderful things were experienced and realized while I was in her. It is sad to see her go, that's all...

Cute little design!

My wonderful beautiful talented friend Emily created a new logo for me. I'm going to commission her to redo my blog all together but for now this is going to be my header. If you are reading this on reader, make sure to click on my page and check it out... then comment on her blog to tell her how wonderful she is. Seriously. do it. I told her I needed her to redo my page. The first thing she did was this. Everyone used to tease me because I would say, "My name is Mandi, with an I." So people would call me Mand-eye.  OR, Man-Die. Either way, this logo made me laugh.

I made a chicken alfredo pizza on Sunday that I got from her recipe. It was amazing. You should probably go read her blog and follow her. She's amazing.

Thanks for making my life so wonderful this week Em!!!

Actually, I am not sure if her blog is private or not. If it is...I know you would have done it anyway.

Why Do I Enjoy Being Beaten?

So, I have a few good posts coming up for you guys but I wanted to post quickly. I have had little to no sleep in the past 72 hours. Between not feeling well ( i know, shocker) and work...it has been a fun week. I worked from 8am-midnight last night and I put in about another 13 or 14 hours of work today. I have a huge client presentation due on Friday and with the changes that are being made it is taking me some time to get everything done. The thing is, as exhausted as I was, as much as my body has been pleading for sleep all day... I enjoyed it a bit.

I came home dragging from work, and carrying papers in my hand to finish some stuff I didn't need the computer for and decided to change and head straight to the gym. At the gym I pushed myself hard and beat myself up.

Why is it that I feel good after these things? Work is long and hard this week but this is when I feel the best. Working out and training for this half marathon has been long and hard but I feel GREAT when I come back from the gym.

It has made me think about what feelings are generated and why we feel good after these things. There are a whole myriad of explanations I have but I have to get back to work so I can finish and go to bed. Just wanted to jot down these thoughts before I forgot.

HAPPY 300TH POST TO ME

As I went to post, I saw that it is my 300th post!! YAY! I feel like I should do a giveaway or something...but this is a private blog... and I'm poor...which is the point of this blog.

I've never been poor. EVER. Like, EVER. There were times in school where I had like $5 in the bank account but I had everything I needed and I had just bought clothes and blah blah blah....but now I'm poor because I'm done with school, still working at the same job, and student loans are due...and I'm sorry but I aint got $500/month to pay them back at the current moment. This is all fine and dandy while I buy time with defferments but sooner or later they are going to be due and I have to start saving for it.

So, in an attempt to watch my spending I have decided not to spend any extra money in the month of February. I saw the idea off of someone else's blog but I can't remember where or I would link you to that. The idea though is to only spend money at the grocery store and on bills. I never realized JUST how much money I spend. Thursdays are quite often Hawaiian Haystack Thursdays at the Church office building with a few of my favorite girls who are in my ward and work for the Church. Wednesdays are New Food Wednesdays with Jade and that group of friends. Most Friday and Saturday mornings involve a Starbucks run. I just declined an invitation to the Jazz/Lakers game for $35/ticket with a group of my friends, lunch with coworkers, and dinner invitations for the month. That being said I still have birthday/ wedding/ baby/all sorts of gifts to buy this month.

So... I'm poor, and as my roommate Raquel said about me choosing to not spend any money this month. "At least when you are poor you can go out and have fun with your friends...but if you aren't spending any money...you are going to be poor and alone. "

So, this is going to be a lonely month. Maybe I'll blog more... but if it saves me a few hundred dollars....it'll be worth it...right?

Sammy Girl's Wedding

I need to take more pictures and I need to post more pictures as well. This picture is from Sammy girl's wedding reception. This is a few girls who were in my sorority a few years ago. We happened to be at the reception at the same time so we took a picture. Isn't Sammy girl a babe? She was featured twice. Once for her bridal/groomal pictures and another time for her wedding. Check out her photos here and here.

p.s. i have no idea why the picture is so small and why it wont let you click on it to enlarge. oh well...

Thank You

Dear blonde driving the Silver Honda CRV on I-15 south today about 5:30pm,

THANK YOU! You had Utah plates and when I put my blinker on in heavy traffic you SLOWED DOWN to let me in. I hope you caught my ecstatic wave that I was taught in Texas (drive friendly-the Texas way) but in case you didn't, Thank You.

xoxo

Mandi

Men

One of the reasons I never want to get married is because most wives have no idea how their "perfect" husbands act and what they say when they aren't there. Men are creeps. I'm kinda tired of being hit on by married men.

end rant.

Martin Luther King Jr

Today I was off of work. Today, many people across the nation were off, and many mock the reason for being off or don't care. Just as I think that the 4th of July should be observed with celebration and reverence so too, should Martin Luther King Jr. Day. While I have been discriminated against before for the color of my skin it isn't often. I do not however, tolerate other people judging others based on the color of their skin. I don't care if you are black, white, purple, religious, atheist, educated, uneducated....I think everyone should be judged on the merits of their actions, NOT the color of their skin or any other than what needs to be judged at the moment. I am grateful for people like Martin Luther King Jr, Rosa Parks, and others who non violently demonstrated for what they felt was right.

I can't express how grateful I am that we are judged on what we make ourselves. I also think he is such an inspiration for me to always speak my mind in what I find fair and just, even if it isn't popular with society.

Always bow in reverence but never in defeat.

Just Because

I have the coolest people in my ward and I am fortunate to call many of them friends. One of my all time favorite people is a girl named Emily Utt. Emily works for the Church* (of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) as a historian. My first Sunday in my new ward I knew I wanted to stay after hearing her correct the Gospel Doctrine teacher (in a very fun and very kind way) to tell the correct version of whatever it is we were talking about. She has such passion for church history and is almost always smiling or giggling but is so amazingly smart at the same time. She is guest blogging for a church related site this next week and I thought some of you might be interested to read it. Her first blog is a little about her job and what she does in relation to historic church sites. You can read it here. Check back at this site more this week to see a few more posts by her.

*church hereafter refers to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints; my religion. It is so dominant in Salt Lake that we just call it " the church" and everyone knows what we are talking about.

Let The Drummer Kick

Today was an emotionally hard day.

All I could think of are the words of Herman Melville from Moby Dick..." when I felt grim about the mouth ...and wanting to knock people's hats off... I take to the sea." Well dear friends, I had no canoe, no raft, no boat and could not take to the sea. I had no idea where I would go if I just got in my car and went....

I felt like I was trapped and needed to escape or scream. The end result was making a playlist of angry and high energy music. Loud beats, mean words, and music that would flow through my veins complete with Taylor Swift (picture to burn), Jay- Z/ Linkin Park (collision course) and much more...

First on the playlist was Gifted with Kayne West and Lykke Li.

I had my newly made playlist in hand and because Salt Lake City has advisory warnings for breathing the air I took to the treadmill at the gym... with music playing so loud I'll regret it one day when I am deaf... I ran the fastest, hardest 4 miles I've run since shortly after I graduated high school and stopped running track. I normally have pain in my knee or my shin and I can't go for very long. Not today. Today I ran four straight miles like it would set me free; it did. Somewhere between mile 1.5 and mile 2 I felt a release of anger, a release of negative toxins that had circulated through my body all day, a release from nearly 6 months of an unhealthy relationship, and a release from any feelings that might have been there and felt happier than I have in a long time. I kept running.... and right at mile 4 I knew that I had friends waiting for me at my house and I headed back home. What a shame....

The night was followed by frozen yogurt, hot tubs, jumping fences and climbing trees in bikinis, and 500 days of Summer.

One of the best days in my history if you ask me.

What do YOU do to cure a bad day?

a frustrating day

today for lunch i decided to venture out of the building. i walked across the street to the parking garage, got in my car, and decided to go to a mexican joint across from the local high school. while there i ended up sitting by a numch of kids skipping school. every other word out of their mouth was the F word and all these 14 year olds could talk about was sex. There was one guy and about 6 girls. He was UGLY... and he kept saying how he was going to do all of them at once. They all giggled. He then proceeded to give them all inappropriate sexual nicknames and they just giggled and blushed and said how they wanted to do inappropriate things to them. One girl said something to the guy and responded with "why are you talking?!? i don't care!" he also demanded money from all the girls because he was hungry. Mind you, they oculdn't have been much older than 14.

My blood was boiling the whole time. I wanted to say something. I wanted to say " do you know who you are?!?! do you have ANY idea the potential you have and you are hanging out with THIS loser?!? hes good for NOTHING! HES UGLY AND UNEDUCATED AND HE ONLY WANTS TO USE YOU! go back to school! get an education! or you are going to end up pregnant in high school to a guy who won't pay child support and you are going to have a crappy miserable life. get up, go to school and realize you're potential!"

ugh! i left... not saying a word. i am so mad! i wish i wouldh ave said something but i couldn't think of anything to say that they would actually listen to. i left and ive been so upset all day. what's going to happen to those girls? why are they so stupid? who is really that desperate for attention that they flock to this creep of a guy? i dunno... i hope things turn out ok for them.

Letters

Dear Drivers of Utah,

My turn signal means that I want to get over and I'm letting you know I am about to change lanes. It is NOT a plea from me for you to speed up and not let me in.

Dear boys of Utah,

Please be more into sports. You make me feel like a dike when I am the only one that cares about game day.

Dear University of Texas,

No matter what happens I still love you but please don't make me so stressed by not playing like I know you can.

Dear mouth,

Please don't crave yummy sweets. Im trying to resist them.

New Years @ Church

One of my New Years informal resolutions is to be better "at church." (as well as blogging more, can you tell? ) Meaning, be more diligent in reading scriptures, saying my prayers, going to the temple, personally getting to know those I visit teach... all that jazz. I do those things now... I just don't do them like I should be doing them.

I am really excited to start the new year with Gospel Principles, our new manual. In Relief Society it was discussed that too many times we get lost in the doctrine and we forget to go back to the basics. I think this is a great year for me to remember the basics of what I believe in, and why I CHOOSE to live a different life.

This morning my roommates were going to breakfast as I was running late for church. The invitation was offered for me to come. I REALLY wanted to go, but I non chalantly declined. When Rita said she was sorry I couldn't come I made sure to let her know that I could, but I was choosing to go to church. I really like the video below and I think it is a good reminder that we all need to choose today to serve God.

Choose-This-Day

Happy New Year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

This is the first picture of me of the New Year. I really had no desire to go out this year. I was depleted of energy. I was convinced to go out and I am so glad I did. Rachel always makes me laugh non stop and in so many ways. I can't think of a better way to bring in the New Year than with friends and laughter!

2009 In Review

WOW!! I can't believe I am writing to you in the year 2010! It's amazing how quickly time flies. As I was reviewing my planner this past week at work nearly every day was scribbled in with one type of appointment or another. I meant to bring it home to use it to blog about the past year but I'll try and do my best here. Just a quick recap of a few of the highs and lows of the year.

January

Obama was put into office. Could it really have been a year ago? I was sick most of the month and spent it working and hanging out with Dave most of the time.

February

Flew to Oregon. bought my new Mac! Got to eat Washington apples in the state of Washington.

March

Dave and I are stopped being friends. I guess he got tired of me.

Went to Vegas to enjoy a weekend trip with the girls.

April

Went to a Britney Spears concert. Judge me if you want, I had a great time!

May

28th-30th had a surprise visit from Matthias. He came into town to see the Superbike World Championships and he got me tickets and passes to go with him! I hadn't seen him in over 5 years.

June

Ben & I stopped being friends. Flew to Vegas for Jade's homecoming from Taiwan.

July

Watched the fireworks from the

foothills that overlooked the valley. We got to enjoy 4 fireworks shows from one spot for free with no crowds of people.

6th-Went to Bear Lake for Rita Bita's birthday.

15th- I bought my new car dubbed Fancy Nancy

15th- got a call from the Dr. telling me they thought I had Cancer and that I needed to come in for further testing and to get a biopsy.

22nd-ish my sister Irene flew to Utah/Idaho for a few weeks. I took her to outdoor concerts, the pioneer day parade, and to climb a mountain. Drove her up to Idaho to see our sister Marie and we went to Jackson Hole for the day.

28th- woke up in excruciating pain and spent the rest of the day in the hospital. Spent the next week going to other dr's appointments and getting tested. They found out I have gastritis, and lots of large cysts on my ovaries. There were other things as well but I can't remember.

August

1st- moved into an apartment all by myself for my first time ever. I was done with roommates and just wanted to live by myself not having to move every year because of other's situations. Also the start of having no internet for the next three months.

16th had my biopsy and flew out to San Diego for a care free weekend with one of my most favorite people ever. I also got to see the San Diego temple for the first time in person. My brother was in Utah when I flew back from San Diego and I got to hang out with him for a few days.

September

3rd- I was broken into by a random drunk guy. Decided that living by myself was not a good idea for the time being 5th- I cut my hair into two ponytails. One 12 inches and the other 15. Also, I can't remember if it was August or September but Jade once again displayed her love and devotion to me by brining back BLUE BELL ICE CREAM from her adventures in Dallas. (this must have been august but oh well. September is lacking for pictures.)

October

Moved in with Raquel and Rita. Rita went to Jordan to visit her boyfriend and ended up not coming back to the States once she got engaged. Went to a random Halloween party with Raquel and Brit.

November

Flew to Houston for my 25th birthday and Thanksgiving. I got the Swine Flu as an early birthday present. I was miserable for close to 2 and a half weeks.

December

Flew to Houston again for Christmas. Spent close to 2 weeks there and I was in Heaven getting to see old friends and my wonderful family! Rita also surprised up from Jordan for the holidays. She flies back out in Jan.

Well, it's been a great year! Everyone keeps saying 2009 was bad and that 2010 will be so much better. All I have to say is that 2009 was divine for me... and if it only gets better from here... I am one lucky girl and I just can't imagine the wonderful things that lay ahead in the next 12 months!