Merci. Gracias, Thank You... Continued

I would like to continue my post from last week. I continued my service experiment this week though not nearly at the same pace as the week before and I thought a ton about all the events that went down during my trial week and this is what I concluded.

Thursday afternoon I needed to run some paperwork to a client a few blocks away. I grabbed the paperwork and headed out on my walk. I have been trying not to use my ipod as much lately so that I could really focus on more things and have mediation time I suppose. I got distracted by a large line at the corner taco stand. It was across the street. I kept walking to my destination but now decided I really wanted some tacos! On my way back I made my way over and the line was completely gone. There was just one man ahead of me. I had a nice new crisp five dollar bill and I was going to order two tacos at $1 a piece. He had ordered $3. I decided I would pay for his lunch. He beat me to it. He approached me and said very timidly, " A really nice person I had never met came up to me the other day and said they wanted to buy my lunch. I had no clue who they are and I don't think I will ever see them again. I told them I would let them buy my lunch but that I would do it in return. May I please buy your lunch?"

I was flabbergasted. I think I took a step back. I had no clue what to think. And then I grinned from ear to ear. That is what service is all about! A two dollar lunch bought me a fantastic day! As I walked back to the office eating my amazing mexican style tacos I finally realized that is what it is all about. You have no clue the effect you have on people or what doing service for them will cause them to in turn do for other people.

Let me take a step back here and kind of explain the reasoning behind this all. I had been having a crummy crummy week. Everyday was a pity party, "woe is me my life is not going the way I want it to so I am going to say it is terrible" type week. Everyday I was pretending everything was great and smiling and saying life was great but inside I felt horrible and I felt I was quickly losing the battle and that I wouldn't be able to fake it any longer. I decided that I needed to lose myself in the service of others if I wanted to remember that I am not the only one having a bad day. I felt if maybe I couldn't make my own day better maybe I would gain satisfaction by making someone else's day better. However, people who were having crummy days were still feeling just as crummy afterwards or being mean or angry or whatever and those who weren't having bad days just didn't acknowledge me. I felt I was failing at my project. I couldn't even give SERVICE right. All I wanted was to know I made a difference. I wanted to know I helped one person and I felt at the time that I didn't succeed at that.

And then I thought about all of my friends who have served religious missions for their church and instead of one week gave two YEARS of their lives. Many of them felt the same way. Two years and not one baptism... or maybe only one. That is a long time to give of yourself and your time to not have made an impact... but then they find out years later that one person made a difference in many other people's lives and those people made a difference in even more lives.... and before you know it hundreds or thousands of people have been affected by your one act.

And while it is disheartening to feel you never made an impact on someone the joy should be in the service (not in hearing a thank you- though I guess I equated "thank you" with having helped them). Have faith they will turn around and serve someone too... and keep your faith in humanity. There is beauty everywhere.

"You Either Die A Hero....

or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." Great Quote!

I want to talk about The Dark Knight for a few moments. My friends and I bought our tickets well in advance for the midnight showing of this movie. We wanted to be among the first to witness what was expected to be one of the greatest movies in a while. Though I really wanted to see it I must admit I was in it was mostly for the social aspect. I mean I can count on one hand the amount of movies I have seen in the theater in the past twelve months. I have mixed feelings about this movie and I have had a lot of my older friends ask my opinion so here I am posting about it with no spoiler.

This movie was extremely dark and violent. I would like to know what the final body count was at the end of the movie. For the first time in my life I almost walked out of a movie. I felt so evil and could barely handle all the violence. This really isn't saying much because I am a light weight. Also, most people know how easily spooked I am. This being said when I gasp or jump every three seconds the movie starts to lose its appeal. I enjoy a good spook every once in a while but it got old and I was frustrated.

Christian Bale Who? My parents can attest to the fact that I was head over heels for Heath Ledger growing up.

You must admit he was a beautiful beautiful man!

One of the pictures that used to hang on my wall.

I had one large black and white poster of him on my wall and a few other full page magazine photos surrounding it. I also had dried flower about the pictures and my dad used to say it looked like a shrine. It wasn't intended that way.I think I threw those pictures away last year at Christmas when sorting through some old stuff. Sad. As disapointed as I was to hear of his passing earlier this year because I had a major crush on him growing up I am now just really upset that the film industry has lost such an amazing actor. I believe The Dark Knight was his best performance ever and I really have no clue how they are going to continue this series without him. I truly believe no one will ever be able to hold a candle to his Joker performance.




He was so creepy and so evil I thought I was going to have nightmares when I got home.

He truly brought his a- game when acting the part of a sociopath, psychotic, mass murdering clown. When reflecting on this movie everyone did an amazing job but compared to Heath's stand out performance they are pretty much forgettable. I heard there are rumours he will be nominated for an Oscar. I guess we will have to wait and see who the competition is but I really hope "he recieves it." (What do you do in a situation like this?) I feel 115 % because this is one of the most amazing acting jobs I have ever seen and 1% because he is dead and that would be an amazing tribute. Dead or not, this guy takes the cake!

Anyway, even after almost walking out ( I didn't and I am semi-ashamed I didn't stick to my values but also glad I got to see the whole movie) I am even thinking about seeing it again. I just can't stop thinking about it and this NEVER happens to me in movies.

It is rated PG-13 and for a good reason. I had a friend ask if her 11 and 13 year olds should see it because they did see Harry Potter afterall and that was dark. This is no Harry Potter folks. I don't want to tell you how to raise your kids and if you think they can handle it fine. I would suggest you see it first before making that decision. I am almost 24 and I could barely handle it. That being said I think it is a must see for all adults!

"I Never Said "Thank You""

I am extremely exhausted. It is 1:30 am and I am ready for bed but I wanted to start this blog. I will finish it at another time.

I just got home from a friend's house where a group of us watched Batman Begins in preparation for The Dark Knight which comes out Friday morning at midnight. I had never seen it before and as others slowly drifted home to their beds I decided to finish it. I must say I rather enjoyed it for several reasons but the thing that stuck with me was the very last line. I had been thinking of how to introduce this post and I think it summed it all up. At the end of the movie some guy whose name escapes me tells Batman, "I never said Thank You." To which batman replies, "And you'll never have to." That's it. Those are the last lines. And while I agree that sometimes people do things without needing to receive a "Thank You" I think it should ALWAYS be said.

I decided to do an experiment that started one week ago on Sunday. I decided I was going to try and serve as many people as I could this week. I had no criteria for who it had to be or what I had to do. All I wanted was to serve them to see if I maybe I would improve my week and hopefully improve theirs as well. In the last seven days I have done big acts, small acts, medium acts, acts that involved money, others that involved time, and others that involved giving of myself.

In efforts to make this short and get to bed I will conclude with my main point. I received not ONE thank you. Not a real one anyway. It was really surprising to me. I did not set out my experiment to see how many people would say Thank You, I set out to improve my week by giving of myself. It was, however, surprising when I gave of my time and efforts and no one even acknowledged it. Don't get me wrong I wasn't looking for praise in the LEAST... but I felt a little taken advantage of as I was doing all these things. I felt like people expected it. While I feel I came to love every person I served a little more than I had before I served them I also felt a little bit crummier. A small sincere Thank You would have made my experiment that much better. Not receiving a single Thank You really made my week that much harder.

I have a ton of thinking to do now that my experiment is "officially" over and more to think about and I am sure I will post more. I just want to leave those of you out there who read my nonsense something to think about. The next time someone opens your door or buys you a house (something small or something big) or just plain does something they don't HAVE to do maybe you should say "hey pal, that really meant a lot. THANKS."

Thanks.

I wanna sunburn ...just to know that I am alive

I am feeling more than frustrated right now.

I had a much longer post but after ranting I decided that it would be better off burned... so that is where I put it. Enjoy the song.

Hammer's Inc.: June's Blog of the Month

OK ladies and gentlemen. This has been a thought that has been on my mind the past several weeks. It has been hard trying to decide which blog to pick for June's blog of the month but after much deliberation and not being able to decide I have decided to go with a last minute blog consideration. I seriously just thought of this as I was posting my last blog a few minutes ago. Hammer's Inc (Garrett Smith) is my winner for June. ( click on Hammer's Inc to go to his blog) This blog was only updated once during June but I seriously have to give him credit for his pictures. If you aren't in awe from the majority of these pictures there is seriously something wrong with you. One of my absolute favorite pictures is of him and his girlfriend kissing on a rock. Too sweet! Check out the other pictures though. Here is just a preview.


Hammer's Inc Photography.

I want to change the world... instead I sleep.

Those are lyrics to another Ingrid Michaelson song. It kind of sums up my life recently. I love her and I love her lyrics.

I had a really great blog post ready in my head and as soon as I signed onto Blogger it vanished out of my mind. I felt like I was already signed on though so I must blog right?

• Sufjan Stevens is amazing. I just downloaded his Christmas album and a few other songs from randomly other selected albums. Three other notable recently downloaded artists: Pinback, Thriving Ivory, and Cobra Starship.
• I had a really random dream last night that ended in an even more random ending. In this dream my friend's older brother was giving me a hug and then realized that he probably smelled and so pushed me away. I responded with, "No, you smell like a man." Upon hearing this response he pulled me back in and I inhaled more of the man smell!!!!! It woke me up immediately because it was so weird and random. According to the dream and the way I reacted I really like the smell of men. I have thought about it several times today and it has just absolutely made me giggle. What does that phrase entail? What exactly does a man smell like? Do all men smell the same? It is going to be my new favorite phrase for the next week or so. I am going to see how many times I can tell someone they smell like a man.
  
• I LOVE fireworks !! Watching the explosion in the sky is so beautiful and calming. There is something about fireworks that brings out the patriotism in me. I am grateful for this nation and all the privileges we have here. I remember the years following high school when I was obsessed with Canada. Canada doesn't hold a candle to the United Sates!
  
• I love my family.
  
• I have no clue where life is taking me and often I feel lost. It is fun to be lost sometimes though. It makes being found that much more enjoyable don't you think?
  
• Rumor has it that Boys like Girls, but I still believe that boys like boys.
• I am counting down the days till August when I get to play with my cameras. My dad gave me his old SLR that he has had since way before I was born and I am excited to play with film but I am also going to buy another digital camera in a bit as well. The one I have now is kind of just for facebook pictures and whatnot. I really am excited to buy a digital version of the SLR.
  
• I went to the batting cages for the first time in about two yeas on Thursday. I really needed it. Standing in a batting cage swinging at the baseballs is so stress relieving. I like to think of the balls as my problems in life, and as any good sportsman knows you never take your eye off the ball. It hurt to hit the ball and I had pain in my hand. Some of this pain came from hitting the ball too far down on the bat and other of it came from not doing it in a while. Just like it hurts to deal with real issues.... but it was worth it to watch my problems/balls fly across the other side of the cage. I know I will be back soon. There is something about a baseball game or going to the batting cages that changes my mood instantly.
• Through all the crappiness of life, it really is beautiful don't you think?
  

UGH

I really don't want to be awake right now but I will be awake for many more hours.

UGH!

So today my boss and my pseudo boss and I somehow got on the topic of dating. I really don't know how it stemmed. Oh, I believe it had to do with the fact one of them wanted to go golfing this weekend while his wife wanted to go out of town with her family so he told her to go out of town and he was going to stay. We then somehow segued into marriage and dating and all that fun stuff. It was funny to hear them trash talk guys. One of them thought guys now a days were absolute creeps (he was single about five years ago- has it really changed in five years? I am guessing no) and the other one was saying how there were not enough "guy's guys" out there anymore. They were really concerned about the caliber of men that were supposed to be dating us single gals. I couldn't help but laugh at them as they kept feeling very upset by this fact. Five o clock was around the corner so we concluded our discussion.

I swear I have had enough dating conversations to last me the next 6 months. I think it all comes down to the fact dating sucks the fun out of life.

The End.