Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas. Here are a few images that describe this year's Christmas to me.

Loved the children everywhere. Loved the parents. Love the whole family and being back in Texas.

Best Christmas Ever...

Why I Love Life: Dec 6-Dec 9

Sunday Dec 6:The chance to start over fresh again with the partaking of sacrament. Fast and Testimony meeting. Hugs from wonderful worthy priesthood holders. Someone calling me cute in my singles ward. A wonderful lesson in a friends R.S ward about how much women need R.S, how R.S. needs us... and how we need to do our visiting teaching. A hilarious discussion on pee cups.

Monday Dec 7: A small box of charleston chews (my favorite candy) waiting for me on my desk when I walked into work. FHE. Up. Good friends and good roommates.

Tuesday Dec 8: A job. electricity. a washer and dryer in my apartment.

Wed Dec 9: Doctors. Insurance. Modern Medicine. PTO so I could take off work because I had been sick all night but still get paid.

Because I want you to know I am thankful

I know the month of November is over, but I want to do something for the month of December most of you did last month. I was in such a foul mood the week week/week and a half I decided that I needed to realize all the wonderful things in my life and focus on them more than I have.

I also know I would go insane if all of you stopped blogging and disappered like I did so I am going to try and blog about this. I dont think people believe me when I say I have the bEST people in my life and everyday is like christmas! I was going to try and blog everyday but we will shoot for once a week. Here are little things I am thankful for.

Dec 1 I flew back to Utah from Texas today. I called Mark last minute and he picked me up from the airport and dropped me back off at work. He also volunteered to pick me up after work and drive me home so I wouldn't have to carry my luggage around. After work he picked me up and treated me to dinner before dropping me off at home. I also had a birthday card and a little treat from McKensie waiting for me.

Dec 2 Raquel and I stayed up for several hours talking about anything and EVERYTHING. Even though we were apart for only a few days we had so much to catch up on. We sat in the living room and watched Charlie do zoomies all across the apartment and laughed until we had side stitches.

Dec 3 Today Raquel showed up at my desk with my korea starbucks coffee mug. She left for work after me and had brought me peppermint hot chocolate for no reason.

Dec 4 A lady at work left the sweetest things on my desk so they would be waiting for me when I got back into work. Because I had been sick and on vacation she celebrated my birthday a week late. She had everyone sign a birthday card and I had flowers on my desk, two loaves of pumpkin bread from hagermanns, a happy birthday banner, and a huge sign telling me to celebrate late because it was better late than never.

Dec 5- Today I was able to run errands with Raquel. We got starbucks before errands and I got a vanilla bean latte because my niece summer talked her head off about them when i was home visiting. They aren't my favorite but I was happy to drink it and think of her. I miss her. I had to go to the bank and the boy teller must have thought Raquel and I were cute because when he sent my receipt in the tube at the drive through I was also pleasantly surprised to find two LOLLYPOPS! It made my day!! As if that weren't enough, Sammy and I went shopping and I got to have one of the most amazing talks with her over dinner. When I got home I opened the belated birthday card and found the sweetest message inside. I nearly cried. 19 positive things about me. I am lucky to have such wonderful friends who love and support me.

There is so much more but these are just highlights. I'm a lucky girl am I not?

Sigh... because I haven't updated...

So I have had several requests to update my blog. I haven't updated because I've felt really negative lately. No one likes a negative blogger. That, and I've had swine flu for the past week. It has been a hard week for me for sure. I wasn't feeling well for a few days and finally decided to go to the doctor's before heading home for the holidays. I was vomiting, running a fever, freezing cold, extremely dizzy, and sooooo much more. I knew I had to have it checked out but I never guessed it was the swine flu! And to think... I had been to work for the previous two days because I thoughtI was just being a baby. Once home I slept most of the time. I sure am glad I decided to spend hundreds of dollars to come and sleep on an uncomfortable day bed instead of being in my own bed asleep... I felt like a stranger in my own home town. Everything has changed. Everything is bigger. There are freeways everywhere and stores everywhere and I hate it. It looks trashy, and dirty, and cluttered. I hate it.

I was only awake for about 45 minutes on thanksgiving day. Friday was about the same. I slept for so long that I decided I would not take my medicine for my birthday because I wanted to be awake. It was the wrong decision. There were several nice people that decided to send me text messages and facebook messages but with the exception of two people... my best friends and those closest to me, those that REALLY know me... failed to acknowledge me and to top it off my own family was rude to me. Bottom line, being awake and sick only intensified all my feelings and anxiety of waiting for people to call that never called. I should have slept!

I take that back... My parents were great!!!! They took me to starbucks and then to sushi for my birthday. My siblings were another story. I decorated my own cake and when it came to my birthday dinner no one acknowledged me or said happy birthday. It was one awkward unhappy birthday for sure.

So on top of the fact that I felt about ten minutes away from death, I felt very alone in a house full of strangers with no connection to the outside world. I felt forgotten, uncared for, and alone and it was the worst feeling I've felt in a long, LONG time. I went to my room and silently sobbed for quite some time.

I felt tired when I finally stopped crying. I wondered why I spend time and money and energy on people who couldn't take ten seconds out of their day to send a simple text message or even a facebook remark when people who barely know me found the time! This really was quite the pity party that finally made me raging mad.

The next day brought some happiness and clarity. Maybe it was the fact it was the sabbath day. I love Sundays. I realized that everyone is on vacation and of course I am the last thing they are thinking about. It doesn't matter that I've thrown people parties or that I've gone out of my way to make their day special.... this is NOT a competition and friendship is not conditional. All I wanted was to be remembered and acknowledged and I know that when/if these people remember.... they will feel bad. And you want to know WHY they will feel bad? BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T MEAN IT . No one meant to forget me and my siblings are generally really amazing to me. No one intentionally set out to hurt me... and if that is the case, why was I mad? You are a fool if you are offended over something that was never meant to be offensive. Even more importantly is that I am constantly grateful for the wonderful people that surround me. They do wonderful things to me every single day, and every single day feels like Christmas. If it isn't a call or a text or a random treat.... it is something infinitely better. So you see, if people are nice to me 99% of the year...does it really matter that they missed ONE day of my life? I would think not.

The overall negative attitude has stayed with me, but I really do feel a lot better. And furthermore, this was not pointed at anyone. I know if you read my blog I trust you to read it. It means I care about you and I know you sincerely care about me too! So... thanks for reading my blog. And thanks for letting me talk about my negative attitude.

World Series

It's no secret my passion in life is baseball. As I sat here watching game 6 I couldn't help but shed a few tears as the Yankees won. Even though I slightly despise the Yankees, I love a few select players and anytime someone wins lately I cry. I cry because I'm happy. Can you imagine how amazing it would be to be a member of a world series winning baseball team? I am envious that I have never done anything like that in my life. There is always a pang of jealousy. Congrats Yankees!!

Pretty Much....

I am in love with Andy Pettite.

Pictures.

Im kind of in a crummy mood but Im listening to wonderful music and thinking of pictures that made me laugh/smile. Here are some of them. There are a million of family that are missing because they are on my other computer and I have yet to transfer music/photos from my old computer to my new mac....but here are some pictures old and new. Most of them you have probably seen before but these are some of my favorites....though the ones of me are not the best...but it's about the situation and who I'm with that counts.

Goodbye October, I hardly knew you

I love October. October makes me so incredibly happy. It brings with it change. Those who know me know it is hard for me to change. I am so loyal to something I'll stay with it forever, even if I shouldn't. Sprint can attest to that! However, when change is thrust upon me I often welcome it with open arms and embrace it. I rejoice in it. October means September is over. I don't know why but September had a bad wrap in my eyes. I don't enjoy it, and as Green Day put it, " Wake me up when September ends." October is there to the rescue. It brings down the temperatures, the leaves start changing, and along with a new season comes a change of clothing. Oh how I love October! And...it has gone too quickly. I barely knew it was here and it left.

It's not that I don't like November, the month of my birth... but with it brings too many holidays, too much chaos.... oh how I long for October again, or at the very least, April.

So, It's been a While

Hey there! Sorry I haven't written... but as I've said I don't have the internet and it takes some time to go somewhere that DOES have the internet. Just wanted to say I am alive and doing well. I am so excited the leaves have started to change colors. Oh how October and fall as some of my favorite things here in Salt Lake.

Blast

So after church we had a mingle. Being new to the ward, I thought mingling could be fun. When I was done mingling I found a member of the bishopric and handed him my tithing. He didn't know me (or i him) so we talked for about ten seconds. While we were talking another member of the bishopric came up. I assumed he was coming up to talk to the other bishopric member. B.M #1 introduced B.M #2 to me.

B.M #1 " This is Mandi."

B.M #2 "Yes. I know. I actually came to talk to her."

Me. "What? I don't think we've met. Do I know you?"

B.M #2 "No. But I know you. I've seen you around and heard you in class. Will you speak on Sunday?"

Me What? .....ugh. Yes.

Blast! I have been really "lucky" in that I spoke twice the year I turned 12. After that I never spoke in church again until I moved to Utah ten years later. When I moved here I spoke almost immediately and haven't spoken since. It's been 3 years. Blast. I don't know why speaking in church has such a bad wrap. It really isn't that big of a deal right? Hmmmm....

Ms. Bryant and High School Algebra II 2.0

Have I ever told you the story of Ms. Bryant, my high school algebra teacher? Well, my "senior" year of high school I took advanced algebra II. Math was my thing. There were a lot of things I didn't get as a teenager, but algebra wasn't one of them. In fact, I was so good I often had to tutor half the class before and after class and teach them how to do the homework. I would take it step by step and show them exactly how to do it.

Well, somehow, I was always the lowest scorer in the class as well. Someone I taught how to do the work would get a 90 and I would get a 60. In fact, the only time I ever got less than an 88 in high school was my senior year. For the two 6 week periods that made up a semester I got a 77 and a 66 in my advanced algebra II class. Ms. Bryant took me aside and suggested I drop the course. I was so frustrated. I knew I knew the material, and when I would ask her about the difference in grades with someone I helped with their homework she would point out a mistake I made and say, I know so and so knows what they are talking about even if they forget to close the parenthesis, I don't know that you do. She had me. I made little mistakes and while most people wouldn't care as long as the work and right answer was there, Ms. Bryant would mark my whole problem wrong. I knew she didn't like me but I had no clue why. I told Ms. Bryant I would NOT drop the class and I took my Christmas vacation annoyed, and not sure what exactly I would do. Over my break I called my sister Tina, who lived in Italy at the time, to vent and she was caught by surprise. "You have Ms. BRYANT?!?!?" she asked. " I hated her!" She continued on to tell me the horrible relationship she had with her. And then it came flooding back... the first day of school, as I am sure I was the tanner spitting image of Tina, Ms. Bryant asked me if I was related to TINA Carrio. I responded that yes, I was. Nothing else was ever spoken of the subject. As I recalled this event it all came flooding to me. I knew right then and there that I was being punished for my sister's horrible behavior towards Ms. Bryant, and her lack of skill in math. I was determined to start over and show her how I was not my sister, despite how much we may look alike. (something I always had to prove to my parents as well.)

The first day of the next semester I walked into Ms. Bryant's classroom with a new determination. I would make her love me, and I would never make another mistake that she could hold against me. I marched to the front of the classroom and picked the chair that was about 6 inches away from her face. While extremely obese Ms. Bryant hardly ever walked. She wheeled around the classroom. I would tell her how cool she was and ask her if she went clubbing over the weekend. I was sarcastic the whole time but she thought I was serious. I always made a point to "show an interest." I figured if she wanted to play a game, well none better to play with than me. I hate playing games, but if you force me to I will; and I will win. I will have you know I made two 100's that next semester. I think I even made a friend in Ms. Bryant. She even exempted me from taking the final because she knew I knew my stuff.

Well folks... it is 8 years later that I find someone challenging my knowledge and yet I give them mistakes, minute as they may be, to use against me. This is just version 2.0. I felt overwhelmed at first. But the question is will I sink or swim? Fight or flight? I thought I was going to drown. I thought I should just give up because this battle was too big to fight. As I started to close my eyes and let the current take me under a sudden wave came over me and I knew what I had to do...

SWIM! FIGHT!

I am not giving up just because you think you are stronger or more powerful. I refuse to let someone try and get rid of me just because they don't like me. I didn't let it happen then and I won't let it happen now. It isn't going to be easy, and it is going to take a LOT of time to read a LOT of material. I am going to have to double and triple and quadruple check everything I do from now on...but that's OK.

TAWANDA!

"Buddy"

Why is it that guys like to use the word "buddy"? It drives me absolutely NUTTY. I loathe being called buddy. Today one of my coworkers in Cleveland said, "hey, what's your buddy's name that works here in Cleveland too?" It was like nails on a chalk board to me. Actually, nails on a chalk board don't bother me.... the noise a box makes when you are folding or unfolding it does. It is the most awful noise ever.

shudder.

welp,

welp, i said i was going to do it and i did it... i don't know for how long...but this blog is currently PRIVATE. SOO....you should feel super special if you are reading this right now....it means i trust you to know what is going on in my life. anyway....today has been horrible... don't want to post about negative things. happy blogs to follow.

September 11

Last night while "babysitting" a recently turned 13 year old and her 14 year old brother I was lounging on the couch of thier home and staring into space. As the 14 year old boy channel surfed I heard screaming coming from the TV. I glanced quickly to see that he had passed a program called 102 minutes that changed America. I asked him to go back and we watched the program for the next hour or so. I was glued to the TV and intrigued while he was antsy and it was apparent he wished to hear my command to change the channel. I ignored him. This program was comprised of the different videos that were taken by citizens of New York and the surrounding areas. It was raw, and in the moment... it made me sick to my stomach to watch but I wanted to see it all. 

The whole time I heard negative comments coming from this 14 year old boy. It is apparent he thinks he knows it all anyway which is frustrating in itself, but to hear the negative comments that came out of his mouth...it took a lot of me to stay calm and to tell him in a civilized way why it was so important. 

"those people are so stupid! why didn't they just ...."

"why don't people just get over this already?! who really cares about september 11th?"

"look! that is soooo cool! look how that plane hit the tower!"

"man...when is the second tower going to drop already?!?!? this is so boring. i hope it just collapses soon."

I then got pretty short with him and asked me how he felt about September 11th. He was 6 when it happened. He said he remembered his mom crying all day. That's about it. He said he wished people would just "get over" September 11th. It was 8 years ago and we need to move on with our lives.

What a contrast. Being a senior in high school I remember the day vividly. I was scared, I was confused... I was seeing live footage on the news at school but I couldn't comprehend that it was real life, and not a movie. I could see faces of people waving white shirts as flags out of the office building windows, and I remember seeing chairs, and then human bodies being flung out of these buildings. All air travel was grounded for days, and friends who had family members in NYC and especially the twin towers wept throughout the day worried for the life of their loved ones. It was such a traumatic event for so many people.... and though 8 years seems like a long time, I feel like it was a few short months ago that I stood in E building of Clear Creek High School walking into my speech class and freezing in the doorway as my teacher was shaking and shoving popcorn in her mouth at the same time (eating popcorn in the morning was her daily routine) eyes glued on the TV and exclaiming to me that I wouldn't believe what was going on..  The nation came together and vowed to unite and "never forget." And now, 8 short years later.... that's all the upcoming generation wants us to do. Forget about it, move on...who cares.... wow.....if only they truly understood.  I understand now how my grandparents must feel when I talk about Pearl Harbour or any sort of war. I wasn't there... I didn't understand. 

And still, most of me hopes he never understands. He never worries that his country will be attacked and bombed and that his safety is in jeopardy. No one wants to feel their safety is violated. No one.

As If My Life Wasn't Crazy Enough

The news said I was 26!!! EWWW!! I am totally 24!! hahahaha. Welp, I've always wanted  a news article written about me...but not for something bad. Oh Well... for your reading pleasure. Click the link.

Siblings!!

I am a really lucky girl. Even though I live across the country from my family I have seen 3 of my 4 siblings in the past 3 weeks. Irene flew up at the end of July.

Then we drove to Idaho to see Marie, and we all went to Jackson Hole.
I was so excited... can you tell?!?!
But shh... mostly I was excited to see my brother Stephen, my favorite person in the world... he was here when I got back from San Diego. 
I'm sorry... you probably have great siblings but mine are the best. No battle. 

The Beach and Sea World

Beach Hair!! Something I haven't had for 3 years! It's horrible... but I kind of miss it! 
Not many things better than laying out on the beach.
I heart California.
this cute seal was posing for me. I wanted to hug it.
An amazing sunset at sea world!

Chargers Game and Balboa Park

While I was in town I got to attend the first Chargers game!!! It has been SO LONG since I've been to an NFL game. I still maintain the Utes are just as good...if not better! ;-) This was only a preseason game but they played the Seattle Seahawks. Seattle Won. It didn't matter because the game was so much fun to attend... except for the cranky lady behind us who threatened to call security when we jumped to our feet at an exciting play and stood for a good minute. Apparently she thought you weren't allowed to stand at games. I wonder how much she had had to drink?

At Balboa Park. The museum of man is an anthropology museum. I really enjoyed it but they could have turned on the a/c. I thought I was going to pass out at times.

Botanical Gardens at Balboa Park. 

Still at Balboa Park.

Desert Gardens.... he stepped on cactus I suppose.
Rose Garden.

USS Midway

Ever since I dated a boy who attended the United States Naval Academy I developed an affinity for all things Navy. I ended the relationship, not because of him, but because long distance just didn't work for me. So, naturally while in San Diego I had to go visit the USS Midway, a retired aircraft carrier. What I thought would be a 2 hour tour turned into 5 hours and I only left because my body was begging to be nourished. Please enjoy a few of my favorite pictures.  

Welcome Aboard!
I love Navy!
The top portion of the aircraft carrier.
WOW!! I can't even imagine what all those buttons do! There were about 10 x's more than what is pictured.
Boss and Mini... it seemed fitting to take a picture.
Well... I will always text and drive... even if it is an aircraft carrier!