Monday, September 29, 2008

To: House Republicans From: Me

Seriously?









That is all I have to say. Good day sir. I said GOOD DAY! (please imagine me slamming a door and walking off in a huff.)

Sunday, September 28, 2008

My Parents

*re posted. Originally posted September 28,2007 I love you guys!


My Wife
Trusty, dusky, vivid, true,
With eyes of gold and bramble-dew,
Steel-true and blade-straight,
The great artificer
Made my mate.

Honour, anger, valour, fire;
A love that life could never tire,
Death quench or evil stir,
The mighty master
Gave to her.

Teacher, tender, comrade, wife,
A fellow-farer true through life,
Heart-whole and soul-free
The august father
Gave to me.

-Robert Louis Stevenson
I have often thought of this poem. I love it so much. Today I would like to dedicate it to my parents. What a humbling experience it was as I walked to work today from the parking garage to the building and as I saw the Salt Lake Temple I was so grateful for two young adults, thirty years ago today, who traveled over a day in the car from Houston, Texas to Salt Lake City, Utah to get married. No doubt scared to make one of the biggest decisions of their life and without a single family member there with them. As I walked, I took a moment of silence, and just imagined my mom and dad " John & Mirtia if you will" (Jade has inspired me to call everyone by their first name but I digress) walking up to the temple. What were they thinking, how did the city look... did they walk around temple square the night before? As I took my moment I swear I could see them walking there in front of me hand in hand and I wanted to wave. My mom was so beautiful and bodacious just as I always dreamt she was. My dad I imagined (but it was so real to me) was stern but cool. A man I hardly recognized even in my own imagination. They were so young with no kids. I wanted them to turn around and see me, I wanted to run to them and see them as JOHN & MIRTIA not mom and dad. I wanted to see them as people. I wanted to tell them all that thirty years would bring. Alas they kept walking and as I continued walking into the building they seemed to fade away into thin air. I kept walking and I secretly longed for them to be here thirty years later to recreate history and to help me in making history. They are my strength.

Mom & Dad, I know I have told you before but I am extra grateful today as I think of thirty years of marriage. I know it has been hard but I am grateful for all that you have each individually and as a team done for me. Happy Anniversary!

Friday, September 26, 2008

Jessicca Holly Dub

***warning. extremely long post**

It is past midnight and I have already been asleep for well over four hours. I guess that is why when I woke up I can't go back to sleep. Many people who know me know that my memory is crap. I don't remember lots of stuff. I don't really care. I never pay attention to the details in the long run and I don't really mind that I don't remember what happened eight hours ago much less eight years ago.

Randomly as I have been trying to fall asleep the past week as I lay there in bed on the verge of dreamland I will remember events that happened in elementary and junior high. Fun times. Things that really made me happy. I have been prompted to write them down so there I am at midnight grumbling as I emerge completely from any sort of chance I had at sleep and fumble around in the dark to find a pen and something to write on.

"Empty cable switch that left a hole in the wall. We used to roll up notes long and circular to pass to the classroom on the other side."

"Veronica's mom used to come to pick her up from school to go shopping. I was envious because even at the age of seven I wanted a sexy name that started with a V. I thought it was sexy because I thought V's were very hot to write."

"First grade track and field theme was Sneed's startrackers"

"looking up at my frist grade teacher mrs. sneed and feeling like she was ten feet tall."

The list continues....

I don't know why I am having all of these memories or where they are coming from. I mean they are all insignificant. However, there are sticky notes all over my desk and hopefully I will get to journaling more in depth about those memories soon.

Tonight however I can't sleep.Instead of remembering good times I am haunted by my one regret. Anyone who has ever asked me if I had any regrets in my life knows I carry just one. This is really for the sake of me writing it and hoping I will be able to sleep after this. Feel free not to read it. It might be long and it really has no point. Of all my life experiences I don't regret any of them except one. Let's get started shall we?

I was a weird child. I am a weird adult. There is no secret there. I blame it all on my parents really. J&M were different kind of parents and we lived in a different kind of neighborhood. If you can call it a neighborhood. While there are many residential developments in the city I grew up in there is this one block out in the middle of nowhere (well at least it was nowhere 20 years ago when we first moved there-eww....I can't believe I am old enough to say that. sick) Anyway. There were mostly geriatric people that lived in this secluded piece of block. Each house mostly laid on close to an acre of property if not more. The houses were still pretty close together we just had expansive backyards and such. I believe there were six or seven other houses with kids between these four streets that formed a block but we were different ages and it wasn't really conducive to us playing in the streets. We all just played in our huge backyards I suppose. And I , well I had four siblings so I guess I spent most of my time playing with them. I really couldn't tell you. I don't remember. Any other children that lived in the city lived miles away. Not really easy to get to when you consider a 6 year old has no transporation. Crossing major highways by yourself isn't really allowed.

Anyway, this is all to set up the stage. Each school year I looked forward to school. Not friends. I made tons of friends but we only hung out during school. I didn't really care I suppose. The school bell would ring and I would get on the bus and head home. Others would make plans to play after school or call each other but not me. It was time to head to the casa where I would be for another evening. I do remember very vividly sitting in the hallway of Walter Hall Elementary waiting for my bus. This kid in my class Elisandro asked for my number. He was a babe. Every girl in second grade wanted him to be their boyfriend. Except me. I was 8 and knew I had another 8 years before my dad would let me date. That was the fact of the matter and I took it VERY seriously. I never tried to sneak around or rebel. Well....Eli as we used to call him, asked for my number. I wouldn't give it to him. He then proceeded to lunge over me and grab the tag attached to my backback. Amanda B. C. Address..... PHONE NUMBER. 332-001....quick! He and "his boys" each memorized a portion and wrote it down. Good teamwork boys. I immediately burst into tears. Please don't call me! Please! My dad will kill me! My dad won't understand! Please don't call me! The fear of being physically punished flashed through my mind and I might as well have been screaming bloody murder in the hallway. Well if that wasn't attractive I don't know what was....needless to say he never called.

After that day I remember kids thinking about me a little differently. They knew never to call me because I lived far away but now they really wouldn't call. The girls anyway! Well....about a year after that incident I started 4th grade. (it was at the end of the year in second grade.) That is when I met Jessicca Holly Dub. I had forgotten until this second that she had two c's in her name. See how all the memories just come flooding back? Well...Jessicca and I were kindred souls. I had never met someone I actually cared about and that was so much like me. I WANTED to play with her after school. Normally I went to school, came home, slept, repeat. I didn't care about the kids at school. In fact Until high school I had a game I played that I pretended I didn't know anyone when I Came back for school after the summer had ended. I mean...it had afterall been a few months since I had last seen everyone. I was too cool for them. Well...Jessicca. I can't even remember. In efforts to make this post a little shorter we were best friends. The first one I had had. Fourth grade year was bliss. My parents even took me to her birthday party and she came to mine. ( I wrote Jessicca Holy Dub on her birthday card and she kept saying how Holy she was and teasing me becauseI spelled her name wrong. ) She got me a board game. The game of Life. We were in a class play and I remember my mom came. It is the only event I think my mom ever went to my whole 12 years of being in school. Jessica's mom went as well. I remember them talking. Her mom wore a scarf on her head and I remember thinking it was weird for a second and then never really thought more about it.

In fifth grade they changed the boundaries and my block and the neighborhood that was closest to me had to switch schools. That meant three fifth graders would now go to a different school. Jessicca was one of them and they put us in the same class. Life could not have been sweeter! Our friendship developed and I believe on the rare occasion my parents would let me go to her house. It was only three or four times the whole year because they did have to drive me there but it was about a five minute drive so it wasn't bad. That summer I remember I even got to go to softball practice with her and her dad! J was crazy insane and I was NEVER allowed to go places with just people's dad. I remember feeling like I had won the lottery or something. This time when I went to her house I remember there was a bed in the formal living room right as you walked in. We had to be quiet because her mom was sleeping and not feeling well.

So...sixth grade comes along and Jessicca and I are STILL best friends. We are now on the same bus and we were the only sixth graders who got to sit in the back. I believe we were the second to last seat on the left hand side. We were already so cool for sixth grade and basically inseperable. Well....one day at lunch the counselor came to get her and she was gone for the rest of the day. This is where it gets tough. This is where I feel like I want to cry. Later on that day I got pulled out of class. As her best friend they found it their obligation to tell only me and the teachers that Jessicca's mom had passed away that morning. I cried. I was in shock. I had no idea her mom was even sick. I was so naive. Who had ever heard of cancer as an 11 year old? Surely not me. Well.... I told a few kids later on that day. The counselor gave me the funeral information but I felt I couldn't go. I mean after all...Jessicca had not invited me. She had never even told me her mom was sick. Who was I to show up in her personal out of school life? I remember I came home and told my parents. Want to know what they said or did? Nothing. No one explained to me that her mom had been sick. No one said let me take you to the funeral. No one did anything. So I did nothing.

One of Jessicca's neighbor's found out about the funeral and went. I remember them talking about playing around at her house after the funeral and I felt very envious. I wanted to play around too! Darn! I should have gone! (This is where I could slap my former self). This was early 6th grade. I don't exactly remember when. All I can remember is that shortly after Jessicca's mom died they went on some sort of vacation. She got one of those long thread things they braid into your hair. It was in tehre for a while. I thought it was absolutely disgusting. Also, she was going through puberty and she started to smell and get hair in her armpits. She didn't shave and I even more.... I thought....this girl is disgusting. No once for a second did I think, hey, this girl just lost her mom. Maybe her dad doesn't know how to deal with a girl who is getting her period and has to start shaving and all that stuff. Instead I thought....SHUN HER! So I did. She was cramping my style. I was soooooooooooooo mean to her. Incredibly mean. I stopped talking to her. We sat together on the bus and one day we got into an argument and I wouldn't let her sit on the aisle or near the window or whichever side was the cool side. I don't remember. I told her she couldn't sit with me anymore. I used to hang out in the orchestra room before school because she couldn't follow me unless she had an instrument. One day someone snuck her by and she came in to give me my christmas present. Nail polish. I grudingly took it and then we had christmas break. I don't remember talking to her after that. Not until high school. It turns out Jessicca was incredibly good at sports and actually surpassed me in popularity the next year. I still pretended I didn't know her.

And I can't believe that I wasn't there for her. I can't believe that when she needed her best friend most I was mean to her. In my defense I think my parent's should have stepped up and explained a few things to me because kids are cruel but it was still my fault. My parent's didn't shun her. I did. It has been nearly twelve years since the incident and for the past six it has haunted me at night more times than I would like. It almost brings me to tears everytime. I mean I am a horrible writer and I can't even convey the way I behaved. What is so ironic is I can't ever remember being outright mean to anyone else like that in my whole entire life. Why on Earth would I treat my best friend who needed me like that? Looking back I just think of how life could have been different. And too many times I wish I could go back to sixth grade and be the friend she needed. I have had a lot of life experiences and none of them do I ever wish I could redo. I hated my life growing up and I hated my parents. I hated my existence. Everday was hell for me. And even knowing that, if I could go back to one point in my life and redo life all over again I would. I would go through another seven years of hell to be the kind of person I should I have been. But going back knowing what I know now, I would make different choices and I know for sure I wouldn't be here in Utah. I wouldn't be friends with Sarah Anderson and Kens and Jade and so many of the people I know and love now. Is it worth it? I mean.... how do you answer that question? I don't suppose I will ever be able to forgive myself for that. I suppose I shall be haunted by that for the rest of my existence. But hey...eternity isn't that long right?

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Guilty Pleasures

Today was Crappy. (notice the capital c) Anywho... what started off horrible ended greatly with guilty pleasures.

1) Soy Milk
I count this as a guilty pleasure because I pride myself on not wasting money and soy milk is so darn expensive when compared to regular squeezed from the cow milk. However, it is so dang good and for no other reason than, " I LOVE it" I drink it. I went and got two half gallons tonight. Why don't they sell it in a gallon? Hmm.... yummy vanilla soy milk.

oh was I drooling? Sorry! That was awkward.

2) Dancing in my car to absurd songs.
On my way home from purchasing said soy milk Katy Perry's latest hit came on the radio. Yes, I did squinch together my lips & eyebrows, and moved those shoulders and bobbed my head like NOBODY'S business!
Even though I was confined to my car and driving defensively and safely (are you listening State of Utah? I am about to get my drivers license from you and you better not give me trouble about it) in my heart I was holding a hairbrush as a microphone and hopping around my room in my underwear. Yeah... most people would imagine they were in front of a large crowd but seriously, if I were in my underwear in front of a large crowd that could be VERY embarrasing!

It's your turn. Dance monkey. DANCE!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Nie Nie

I have a confession. I internet stalk about three people. All three of them are people I have never before actually met. I blame it on Katherine really. She mentioned someone once and so I started reading person A's blog. Well, one day person A mentioned someone else so I started reading person B's blog. Well....about three months ago person B mentioned someone ELSE and thus it became that I was not the avid reader of blogger a, b, and c. Well... Blogger C just seemed too good to be true! She was perfect in every sense of the word. Gorgeous, talented, amazingly adorable children (one of which was the cutest red head you ever did see), perfect husband....blah blah blah. Reading her blog brought happiness to my day. It was inspirational really. And then... and then a few weeks ago it was posted that she was involved in a bad plane crash. Her husband got his pilot's license and they were flying and who knows what happened but one person died and her and her husband were badly burned. They have been in the hospital for weeks and will probably continue to be there for a while.It appears I should not feel so bad because I wasn't the only anonymous blog stalker. There were apparently hundreds of us. When she died everyone reached out and has done fund raising or contributed money to a paypal account online. Don't think it is a scam...the news has been all over it. Her dad is in Utah politics and her mom is a council woman for Provo. The siblings have even been on the Today Show and in People magazine because so many people have been talking about this. Well...her sister keeps her site updated and they repost odd blog entries of hers. If you are having a bad day, or even a good day, maybe you should check out her blog. It is really inspirational. My favorite is the one about leaving notes all around the city for strangers. She really had the right outlook on life and I aspire to be 1/4 of the person she was/is. I can't really say more...you just have to look for yourself.

The Nie Nie Diaries

C Jane (her sister)

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

August Blog of the Month

** Items in rust color are links and can be clicked on

It has come to my attention that I have not yet posted August's Blog of The Month.

I totally had a blog in mind and it was going to win August's BOTM until just a few days ago. I guess it unfairly goes to this person because the posts have been in September but I really want you guys to check it out. This is my second award due to photography skills but BRANDT wins this month. Hmmm.....his lovely and beautiful wife Christina was my very first BOTM. Good thing they don't have children who blog because that would just be amazing and they for sure would win subsequent BOTMs. HaHa.

Anyway, Brandt just posted a bunch of pictures he took around everyday Chicago and I think they are absolutely amazing. What I enjoy most about this series is the way he got me to look at things differently, from HIS point of view. They are absolutely amazing in my opinion and I think you should check him out NOW.

I don't just post these for fun, I think y'all should really check out these bloggers. Just a quick recap of previous month's winners.

May- Mrs. Christina B.
June- Mr. G Smith
July- Mr. Dave K.
August -Mr. Brandt B.

** Items in rust color are links and can be clicked on

September 9, 2008



I can't think of any better way to describe how I feel today other than this photo and this song.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Four Things

I was tagged. I hate these kind of things but because I love Hailey I am doing it.


Four Random Things I Would Like My Future Husband to Emulate/Have
1. Mr. Darcy's ardent love for Elizabeth
2. Gordon B. Hinckley's humble desire to serve the Lord and honor his priesthood
3. Patience and a calm temper
4. Education

Four Jobs I Have Had
1. Cashier at Tuesday Morning
2. Cashier at Johnson Space Center Houston
3. Teller/Teller Supervisor at Texas First Bank
4. Investment Management at Key Bank

Four Movies I Have Watched More Than Once
1. What Happens in Vegas
2. Pride & Prejudice (the newer one with Kierra Knightly)
3. My Best Friend's Wedding
4. The Labrynth

Four Places I Have Lived
1. Houston Texas
2. League City Texas
3. Texas City Texas
4. Salt Lake City Utah

Four TV Shows I Have Watched
1. Gilmore Girls
2. What I like About You
3. The Secret Life of an American Teenager
4. What Not to Wear

Four Places I Have Been Most Recently
1. Church
2. Miles & Wyatt Petty's House
3. Rice Eccles Stadium for the University of Utah game
4. The Greek Festival

Four People who [Facebook] you Regularly (I altered this one because I don't really email these days)
1. Miles
2. My brudder
3. Ethan Joshua Michal Leavitt
4. Jordan Weed

Four Favorite Foods
1. My grandmother's potato soup
2. My mom's Chicken & Dumplings
3. Tamales
4. Sushi

Four Places I'd Like To Visit
1. My family in Houston Texas
2. Spain
3. London
4. Kula Lumpur

Four Things I Am Looking Forward To This Year (I'm counting Aug 2008-Aug 2009)
1. Christmas with my family
2. buying my Nikon
3. Jade coming home from her mission!!
4. Possibly buying a house!!!

Four things I want to do before I die:
1. Take an amazing photo that takes people's breath away
2. fly a plane
3. Make an amazingly beautiful cake
4. Fall in love again

Four people I want to fill this out: (fill this out if you want but I am not tagging anyone)
1.
2.
3.
4.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

A Train Wreck

I need a hug. One that lasts an hour.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

If A Picture is worth A Thousand Words...



then I don't really need to blog today now do I?